About Child-Rearing ~Childbirth and Child-Rearing Systems~ From a Chinese, American and Russian Perspective

I have two sons. My first son was born in Saitama and my second son in Tokyo, both at relatively large general hospitals. I decided on these hospitals because they were recommended by people around me and because they were close to my house. I felt comfortable going there because they were recommended by a Japanese person.

I had heard that larger hospitals were better. I had been going to a national hospital before I got pregnant, so I decided to choose that hospital. I didn't know much about the birthing systems.

We were referred to the hospital by my family doctor. We decided to choose this hospital because it was quite large and close to my house, so I thought it would be easy to frequent.

In Russia, as soon as you find out you are pregnant, you go to a gynecologist. You will receive something like a one-time pregnancy payment or maternity allowance, as well as a pregnancy card to record your progress. The pregnancy card is like a mother-child handbook, in which the health status of the expectant mother is recorded. Medical checkups are conducted at a local gynecology clinic, and the hospital where the baby will be delivered is decided based on its reputation, and an appointment is made. At that point, you will already have a pregnancy card, which can be transferred to the hospital. You continue to go there until you give birth.
There is also a voucher that covers basic medical expenses, which can only be used at public hospitals, but it can be used not only for medical examinations and delivery during pregnancy, but also for tests and medicines. It can be used until the baby is one year old. Births and consultations at private hospitals are at your own expense.

I don't think childbirth is free in China. Insurance covers the basic costs, but if you go to a slightly more upscale place, it is very expensive. There is also no one-time childbirth allowance like in Japan.

I'm from the countryside, and there are only two hospitals where deliveries are available. You have to choose one of them. Even in the U.S., childbirth is not free; it can cost about 1 million yen.

We felt that the number of checkups was low.

We felt that the number of checkups was low.

In the beginning it was every month or two. Towards the end, it became much more frequent.

I had a lot of anxiety in the beginning and didn't know what to do when I had a stomach ache. I would call, but I was very worried because I couldn't solve the problem right away over the phone.

That’s true. I think that at the beginning of the pregnancy we did not go to checkups very often.

In Russia, before giving birth, you will be examined twice by a medical doctor, twice by a dentist, and then by an otolaryngologist and an ophthalmologist all the way through. Some ophthalmologists in Russia may diagnose natural childbirth as unsuitable because some people develop eye problems (in the case of short-sightedness, when the breathing is strong, it is thought that the retina may tear).
In Russia, the pregnant person is admitted to the hospital for a checkup. If you have an upset stomach, you can go directly to the hospital for a checkup. In Japan, I ended up having about two examinations, and I didn't have many tests for the baby’s possible diseases because they said there were no abnormalities. There was a time when I was concerned because all I was told was, "Let's wait and see”.

My parents came to Japan for the birth. Although they cannot speak Japanese, they were by my side, so I did not feel worried. My mother says that the mother-child handbook is very good. In China, we didn't have it until a few years ago. I have never heard of it from my friends. The mother-child handbook includes information such as what tests were done and comments from the doctor, so just having it makes all the difference in feeling at ease.

I did not know about the mother-child handbook until my child was born. I don't think there is a mother-child handbook in the U.S. either.

In Russia, too, there is no mother-child handbook, but there is a maternity card. The mother has to carry it with her, and can be examined at any hospital if she has this maternity card. The maternity card is kept by the mother the whole time.

At the time my parents came here for the birth, they could only get a short-term visa. It was for 3 months before the birth and could be extended once the child was born, so it was for 6 months. It was a great relief.

It may be only for Russians, but my mother was allowed to stay in Japan for just 1 month. I had a cesarean section, so I knew when the baby would be born, and so she got the visa and came to Japan around that time.

It was the first grandchild for my parents, so they came to Japan and we did the omiyamairi (the newborn child’s first visit to a shrine) together.

I was very anxious because both of my children were born breech, and I had them by cesarean section. I had to sign a consent form before the birth, and it said scary things like there might be a lot of blood loss.

I know what you mean. I was also very anxious about the anesthesia. The consent form is written entirely in Japanese, and you have to sign it on the spot. Japanese people may not read it that much. I read it while asking, "What is this?”, so I think the doctor got a little tired. But it was very scary.

There was no Chinese in the consent form either. I guess I was too scared of the C-section to listen calmly, or maybe I couldn't understand the doctor's explanation at all, so I had to read it slowly or look it up myself after I went home.

I don't even understand the medical terminology to begin with.

There were quite a few times when they explained something to me, but I couldn't understand it.

In order to get on a plane, I would have had to leave early in my pregnancy. I would be far away from my husband, and it would be inconvenient in many ways (so I gave birth in Japan).

I never thought about going back to China.

If your husband is Japanese, you cannot get Russian nationality unless you give birth in Russia in order to have both nationalities. Everyone who has nationality problems gives birth in Russia.

My wife had a natural childbirth, but I was anxious because it was the first time with our eldest son. I was also present at the birth. To do so, I attended a course held at the hospital. If you don't attend a course, you can't be present at the birth. In the U.S., it is quite common to be present at births.

Since I had a cesarean section, my husband was not able to be present.

I also had a cesarean section, so my husband was not allowed in the operating room. But the nurses held my hand and asked me if I was OK when I looked pale. I was very moved by this.

They stroked my back and said things like “you’re almost there!”.

Yes, that’s right. That was very nice.
The baby was met by the dad (husband) first. He was very moved.

Yes, it was the same for us. Japanese nurses are really kind. I only know about China, but both Chinese doctors and nurses speak from the top. Sometimes they get angry too.

I couldn’t agree more! They say things like, "Pull yourself together." Some people are traumatized by this. Japanese nurses are kind.

I don't think they’re that strict in the U.S. After giving birth, you can leave the hospital the next day.

In Russia, you would be in the hospital for about a week.

In China, a natural childbirth takes about 5 days. But in Shanghai, people with financial resources move to a kind of postpartum care center right after giving birth. It's very expensive, so it's only small part of the population, but some people stay there 1 month or even up to 2 months. The rest of the people go home and the mothers take care of everything.
In China, the first 2 months after childbirth are extremely important. The new mothers do not do any housework. I was surprised when I came to Japan. Japanese people do housework and take their children to the hospital about a week after the birth. My mother would never have thought of this, and said, "Everyone is so resilient”.

My wife was hospitalized for about 5 days and returned home. My wife's parents were close by, so they delivered food and helped me with housework every day.

After the birth, my mother came to Japan to help us out. My husband also took a week off to help. However, since the COVID-19 situation got worse, my mother has not been able to come again.

I was given about a week off to celebrate after my wife was discharged from the hospital. The company had that kind of a policy.

With my older son (age 14), I was a graduate student, so there was no maternity leave. With my younger son (age 6), I took a longer maternity leave (a combination of prenatal and postnatal leave) and childcare leave. Due to the unexpected premature birth, my husband went on an overseas business trip the next day. My parents came from China to help, so my older son stayed with them. Originally, the leave was supposed to be for one year, but it was difficult to get him into a daycare center, so I took childcare leave for a year and a half.

I had just quit my job when I found out I was pregnant, so I did not take any maternity or childcare leave.
When my child turned 3 years old, I started looking for a new job.

My wife took childcare leave for about a year. The same for our second child. In the U.S., I think the system like childcare leave differs from company to company, but the government does not require you to take childcare leave.

In Russia, 70 days before and 70 days after the birth are fixed. If you have twins, that's almost 200 days of childcare leave; you can take leave until they are 3 years old, but you can only get money for 18 months, and it comes from the government through the company.

It looks like the Russian system is similar to Japan. China’s is short. The time off is really short. It’s so short that it’s a problem. Either you quit your job or you don't. Even if you could take a longer childcare leave, Chinese women probably would not take it. Everyone is working, so if you take a leave, you might lose your position. There is so much competition that many do not tell people that they are pregnant. Sometimes they don't tell anyone and then one day when the due date is getting closer, they suddenly say, "I'm going to take a leave of absence next week”.

I was also surprised by something that happened to me. A work colleague in Japan told her boss and myself very early on that she was pregnant. She said, "I'm going to have the baby in 8 months”. She was discussing with our boss when she would be able to return, but I was very surprised because I thought it was not a decision to be made at this stage. In Russia, I think we would hide the belly with clothes until the end and not tell anyone.

No, they can’t get in right away. Many people in China ask a family member or a babysitter to take care of their children. China has a large number of only children, so many families have parents who also want to take care of their grandchildren.

I think many people in the U.S. tell everyone around them once their baby is in stable condition. At that point, there is a celebration party like a baby shower to make everyone happy. Work varies from company to company, but they may take 6 weeks off, a month before the due date.