Mom Support Group RMJ (Relaxing Place for All Moms in Japan） ～Aiming for a society where all moms and dads can feel safe and secure by creating a place where they can lean on, and help each other, regardless of nationality or race.～

RMJ (Relaxing Place for All Moms in Japan) is active mainly in Katsushika City, Tokyo, to help relieve the loneliness of as many moms as possible. Their activities range from running a childcare support center that offers online consultation, to organizing social gatherings. Ms. Moe Muroi started RMJ all by herself after meeting a foreign-born mom. Almost two years after the organization's establishment in March 2022, its circle is expanding rapidly. We spoke with Ms. Muroi about her thoughts on establishing the group, and its current activities.

 

"I want to make friends with moms who are feeling alone."

Currently, RMJ connects with approximately 60 moms as a group, with 30-40% of them being foreign nationals. The inspiration for establishing the group, which Ms. Muroi says she did not anticipate at first, came from encountering a foreign mom who had become isolated in the community.
"My sister works at a daycare center which also has a child-rearing support center attached to it. One of the support center's users told my sister that there was a mother from the Philippines who was isolated because she could not speak Japanese. When I met her (the Filipino mom) and talked to her, she mentioned that she had no friends at all, and every day she looked out from her balcony to see if she could find someone that she could be friends with. I realized there would be many other moms in the neighborhood looking for friends, other than her. I also thought those foreign moms would have particular difficulty in making friends, so I wanted to make friends with them," says Ms. Muroi.

Ms. Muroi herself felt frustrated that she could not establish a closer relationship with the Mongolian family living next to her, with whom she had only exchanged greetings at the time of COVID-19.
"I was thinking at the time that it would be great if Japanese moms, foreign moms, and everyone else could become friends easily."

 

"If there is no group, I have to create one myself," Ms. Muroi thought, and founded the group.

"After becoming friends with a mom from the Philippines, I thought it would be great if I could help moms who are not comfortable with Japanese connect with each other. However, there are limits to what I can do on my own. I thought it would be helpful if there were organizations in Katsushika City that supported foreign moms and helped them interact with other moms, so I asked the volunteer center if one existed However, I was told that there was no such organization. If there were no such groups, I thought I would have to create one myself," says Ms. Muroi.
But she had not expected to go so far as to start an organization. So, she hesitated for about six months. It was then that Ms. Muroi came across a notice for the "Co-op Mirai - Life and Community Development Subsidy Project."
"Although I was still in the stage of nothing being started, I prepared a proposal and applied for the project. I wanted to know if what I was going to do was socially beneficial and necessary. Being selected as a grant-receiving organization allowed me to start my activities with confidence. Now that I have received the grant, I must begin to take a firm step forward as an organization. The support I received from Co-op Mirai gave me the confidence to carry out my activities."
Ms. Muroi launched RMJ in March 2022, and its activities began in earnest.

 

To empathize with the anxiety and loneliness of moms.

RMJ is currently carrying out two main activities to support moms.
One is the operation of an Online Parenting Support Center that provides advice by LINE, 365 days a year. Through this service, moms can ask childcare workers for advice on child-rearing concerns, or post minor complaints about everyday lives, and chit-chat. This service is for both Japanese and foreign moms.
"I started this service because I thought it was needed. I did not know that parenting was solitary until I had a child. When I first started child-rearing, I used to stay at home instead of going to a local childcare facility. I thought it would be nice to be able to talk casually on LINE when I'm feeling a little lonely or ask advice about childcare concerns."
In its first year, the support service received approximately 900 messages, including inquiries about children's situations, such as children who would not stop crying or would not eat.

The second activity is face-to-face support for foreign moms. RMJ assists with application procedures, accompanying, interpreting, and more, for moms who have concerns about their Japanese language skills.
"Application paperwork is not easy for non-Japanese speakers, so I sometimes accompany them to the city office. It is also difficult for them to make hospital appointments by phone, and even online reservations are often all in Japanese, so I help them with that."
RMJ continues to work closely with moms who are raising their children, with anxiety and loneliness.

 

Helping each other comes naturally because of friendship.

"As the name suggests, RMJ was started in the hope of creating a relaxing place where moms can come together to help each other and feel at home. We do not want to be a foreigner support group, but rather a relationship where (Japanese moms and foreign national moms) help each other. We provide interpreters and other support to moms who are not fluent in Japanese, but such support is only secondary. Our primary focus is on fostering friendships among our members. We believe that if moms were good friends with each other, they would help out when they are in need. I hope that through RMJ, our members will be able to make friends and connect even if they don't speak the same language."
With these thoughts in mind, RMJ provides a place for moms and dads to interact with each other at least once a month. The members' circle of friends is expanding through RMJ.
"I used to only watch community events from the outside, but I'm glad I'm part of the community and am having a picnic with everyone," says one member.
"Moms who quit their jobs or took time off from work to raise their children were able to help others through what they could do or what they were good at. Moms are indeed able to feel a sense of contribution from these actions. I myself have been helped by these moms."

Empowerment Generated by the Solidarity of Moms

"This year, in the third year of its establishment, I would like to incorporate RMJ as a non-profit organization. By incorporating, we, as an organization, can take on interpretation and translation work from businesses, and create opportunities for foreign national moms to play an active role. I think this will give moms confidence and will change society's impression of 'moms'," says Ms. Muroi.
At first, Ms. Muroi was running RMJ by herself, but was gradually able to share its operation with other members. They work together to come up with an annual schedule and other moms are in charge of planning events. And now, the circle of RMJ moms is likely to expand further in the future.
"A mom who lives in Sagamihara City now wants to organize RMJ in the Yokohama area, and we are working together to prepare for that. I also received an inquiry from a mom living in the Kansai region, asking if there were any activities in her area. I hope that RMJ can be formed in various locations to bring our activities and connections to moms in need."

Ms. Muroi is energetic in her activities despite her busy schedule with child-rearing and other works. We asked about the driving force behind her activities.
"When I look at moms, I see that they are truly talented people. Being a mom is just one of their aspects. I hope that society will look at each of us as individuals, and not just as 'moms'. I am working with this vision for society."

A circle of friends of moms and dads who met through RMJ…. We hope that this connection will help heal the anxieties and loneliness of as many moms and dads as possible while raising their children. And we hope that the number of Relaxing Places for All Moms (and dads) in Japan will increase.